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| Inner Conflict |
Inner Conflict
"NO!"
The scream faded slowly as it echoed aross the barren landscape;
each reapeat a little quieter than the last as it was carried away on the light breeze.
He stumbled over the dusty ground, staring in frightful confusion at the scenery around him.
It was flat, empty. Dead. Only a few rocks littering the terrain broke the monotony of the area. The sky was dark; black, bloated clouds had gathered, threatening to release their load over the neutral territory.
The cool wind shifted dirt around his feet and he shivered as it tugged at his white work tunic.
Something was wrong.
Only a moment ago he had been angry, upset. No. Not angry, he had been furious, out of control; his twisting emotions had carried him...where?
Where was this place? What was this place?
With a sick, dead feeling he glanced down at himself.
He was wearing his farm clothes! He hadn't worn these since he had left Tatooine.
He looked with fear to his surroundings. This was not his desert homeland. His hand closed over the lightsaber, which was hooked to his belt, and he took some comfort in it's presence.
"NO!"
This was where he wanted to be. This was what he wanted. This was darkness, and he celebrated his transition from the light.
But something was wrong. There was something unresolved.
He looked with confusion at his surroundings, at the gray, empty landscape; then he turned his gaze to the ignited lightsaber in his black-gloved hand. It's green glow threw small light on his situation.
He deactivated the sword.
Where was he? Why was he suddenly so unsure of himself?
He kicked, unconsciously, at a stone lying at his feet. It skittered across the dirt, coming to rest near a larger brick. He shivered, feeling fear for the first time.
The breeze tugged at his black, Jedi tunic and he turned on his heels; suddenly sensing movement behind him in the distance.Squinting, he tried to make the future out.
He started forward.
When he had first been able to make out the figure of a man, he had felt relief. He was not alone in this terrible place. He had companionship, someone to answer his many questions.
Now, however, the other had spotted him; and although he had -at first- felt fear from the man, that emotion died .It was replaced by a quiet, frightening sense of satisfaction.
They drew nearer to one another.
There was something familiar about the black clad figure; the walk, the height, the build.
The silence was suddenly split by the hiss and vibrations of an activating lightsaber. The approaching man quickened his pace.
The lightsaber was green!
His mind reeled with the horror of realization, and his panic-driven fingers fumbled for his own saber.
He stared at the metallic grip.
This was wrong!
It was the wrong shape.
He activated it and a blue-white shaft of light grew from the handgrip. Sweat formed on his upper lip as he glanced at the blade.
It should be green! I made it myself. It should be green!
Then, he looked at the hand that held the sword. It was pale, the skin appearing to be devoid of color in the poor light. There was no glove to cover a blast wound obtained on Jabba the Hutt's sail barge. There was no blast wound in the cybernetic hand fitted to him to replace his own, lost during a saber duel with his father.
There was no cybernetic hand!
It was all, suddenly, so clear.
He looked back to the approaching figure and, from him, he felt the same understanding slide into place.
He smiled when the white blade came to life.He knew who his opponent was. It was his light self, his weak, emotion filled self.He halted in his advance and stood his ground; letting his prey deliver itself.
He knew the figure before him. He knew his loves, his desires, his wants and his fears. The advantage was with him, with the dark. HE was the stronger, more powerful self. The Emperor was right; the dark side was the greater.
A chuckle grew in the base of his throat as his opponent took his stand and raised his sword in the classic first position.
He stumbled back as his dark self attacked, his blade raised above his head in a wild attempt at an early kill. He crouched, throwing up his arm in reflex and his own blade blocked the blow.
He fought the panic which threatened to cloud his mind;fought to remember everything Ben and Yoda ad taught him, but it was so hard, so difficult to think like a trained Knight when he felt like an inexperienced farmboy.
The other attacked again,saber low, swinging toward his waist. He somersaulted over the blade and heard it slice through the air inches from his head. He landed, and brought his own sword up-ready for the next assault.
Steady, let the fear rise. Let it dissolve.
This must be a vision, It must be! A trick by the Emperor!
But his opponent did not fade. Instead, the dark Jedi walked slowly around him,saber swinglng low, almost leisurely, at his legs. The black cat stalking-playing with the white mouse.
He was bemused, yet a little unsettled, by his enemy's lack of agression.
 . His light self had defended, but not retaliated. It was as though the other knew what to do but lacked the will to carry it though; so he could only defend himself. He had lost the stonger emotions, the feelings which charged a man with the will to fight.
Yes, he could still fear, he could still have anger; but they were muted, their cry dulled under the softer emotions.
This realization pleased the dark Jedi. He was the stronger. He was the one more likely to survive this battle, and yet...
And yet there was that same sense of unease, That small, insistent voice at the back of his mind which whispered and argued. If his light self had lost so much, then what had he lost by taking to the dark?
He smiled at his opponent as he pushed away the thoughts.
He had lost only weakness and found strength!
With a furious cry, he attacked again; intent on ending the battle.
Their blades locked in a crackling of energy. An eerie light thrown out by the blades illumnated the sweat on their faces. Each identical to the other yet displaying different and similar emotions. One sorrow and fear, the other hatred and fear.
Both afraid of the same thing-the outcome of this fight,and the implications for himself and the Galaxy should either die.
The white Jedi stumbled under the pushing weight of the darkness. He fell, and his saber tumbled from his grasp.
He looked up sharply at the man who stepped forward and placed his sword at his throat. No words were exchanged. Pleas for his life would fall on unsympathetic ears; he merely waited, with painful sadness, for the death blow.
It had been a short fight and he was almost sorry it was over.
He gazed down at his light half, and their eyes searched each other's. There was the same uncertainty.
He tore his eyes away, furious with himself for hesitating , and raised his weapon for the final stroke.
He closed his eyes as the saber rose. It was then that he heard the gloating voice.
"Good."
He opened his eyes and looked at the figure above him.
The dark Jedi hesitated again, this time at the sound of his master's voice.
Using the extra moments given him so unexpectedly, he rolled quickly to the side; his feet kicking the legs out from under his other self. His hand reached for his saber. The
sword flew into his grasp and he gathered himself to his feet.
It was now his weapon that was at the throat of his opponent.
Luke Skywalker stared at the figure who lay sprawled at his feet and watched with some confusion as his dark self faded along with the barren land and wind.
It was Vader who lay there, beaten on the smooth, polished floor of the Emperor's domain. Vader, his father, whom he said he would not fight.
He turned and looked at the black-robed dictator; noting the man's glee.
"Your hate has made you powerful. Now fulfill your destiny and take your father's place at my side!"
Luke turned back to look down at his father
He lifted his right hand; the glove was black, covering his cybernetic hand. He clenched his fist, recalling Obi-Wan's words..." He's more machine now than man, twisted and evil."
He looked back at Vader's mechanical stump.
This would not happen. He would not sacrifice himself to darkness.
He took a deep breath, calming himself; his own dark side defeated, pushed back to it's proper place.
By speaking the Emperor had interrupted the battle, causing Luke to hesitate, making hims aware of what he was doing-what was happening. By speaking, the Emperor had defeated his own purpose.M
Darkness had defeated itself.
Luke stepped away from Vader, deactivated his saber and hurled it away.
" NEVER!" He announced, turning his back on Vader and walking toward his enemy unarmed. "I'll never turn to the dark side. You've failed, your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me."
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